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Jewish Weddings
A Jewish wedding is one of the cornerstones of the Jewish life cycle and as with all religions, is a great cause for celebration. Although there are many laws and traditions associated with the wedding itself, other rituals take place in the weeks leading up to the big day.
A Jewish marriage ceremony combines the legal and religious elements of marriage in a ceremony -- there's no need for a separate register office ceremony. Orthodox rabbis will not marry an inter-faith couple -- it's usually required that the non-Jewish person converts to Judaism.
What happens at an Orthodox Jewish wedding?
As long as the bride (Kallah) and groom (Chatan) are standing under the Chuppah (canopy), the marriage ceremony can take place almost anywhere -- in a synagogue, the bride or groom's home, in a public venue such as a hotel or even on a beach.
The wedding venue is chosen by the bride and groom. The cost is normally covered by the bride's parents.
The Orthodox Jewish wedding ceremony follows a strict pattern, including singing and readings taken from the psalms, from which it is impossible to deviate. The wedding lasts about one hour.
To marry in the Orthodox Jewish tradition, your parents must also have been married in the Orthodox manner, the ceremony presided over by an authorised Rabbi. They also need to produce a Ketubah (Jewish marriage licence).
For the Orthodox wedding to be considered valid, there needs to be a minimum of ten males (usually friends or family) in attendance, a group known as the minyan.
Traditional dress for men is a suit and tie; kippot (skull caps) are usually available for those who do not have them. Traditionally, women wear a dress with their shoulders and elbows covered.
Are there any times of year in which Jewish weddings can not take place ?
It is forbidden to get married in the 49 days between the moveable feasts of Passover and Pentecost, and during three weeks between July and August.
It is also forbidden to marry on the Sabbath or on festival days.
If you want to get married on a Saturday, the ceremony is not allowed to begin earlier than two hours after sundown.
The period between the festivals of Passover (Pesach) and Pentecost (Shavuot) which is known as the Omer and is a reflective and sad time in the Jewish calendar. As many people refrain from parties involving music and dancing during this period, it is not considered to be a good time to hold a wedding.
You can marry at any time of the day, though it is most usual to marry in the afternoon or evening. Most people choose to marry on a Sunday.
Are there any religious requirements prior to the wedding happening?
The couple are required to meet the Rabbi a number of times before they marry, so he can offer advice about the meaning of marriage, and answer any questions.
There is also a meeting between the bride and the Rabbi's wife who will explain the rules of mikveh.
What is Mikveh ?
The bride, meanwhile, will often visit the ritual bath known as the Mikveh in the week before the wedding, so that she may cleanse herself spiritually and enter marriage in a state of complete purity.
In order to properly fulfill the requirements of the mikveh, the woman must remove all jewellery and even nail polish before entering the bath and must fully immerse herself in the water while reciting a special prayer. She will be supervised and assisted during the ritual to ensure it is done correctly.
What should I wear to a Jewish Wedding Ceremony ?
Men must cover their heads with a Kippah (which will be provided) and married women should cover their heads too. All women are required to cover their shoulders and arms before entering the synagogue.
Male guests normally wear a dinner jacket or suit and women, a dress or skirt -- trousers for women are considered disrespectful in the synagogue.
What happens at the ceremony?
The men, including the ushers, arrive first. This is known as the groom's Tish -- the time when the groom, ushers and male family members gather for song and prayers before the ceremony.
The fathers of the bride and groom and the ushers enter with the groom. The bride arrives with her mother, mother-in-law and the bridesmaids.
The next step is the Bedeken (the veiling of the bride), which is carried out immediately before the processional of the bride, groom and their attendants to the Chuppah. This takes place in another room, while most of the guests are being seated. It can be a very private time with just the rabbi, bride and groom and both sets of parents present. The custom developed from the Biblical story of Jacob, who married Leah by mistake instead of Rachel, the women he loved.
The ceremony itself lasts 20 to 30 minutes and is made up of the Kiddushin and the Nisuin. The former involves the bride walking around the groom seven times on her arrival under the Chuppah, to show this is the man she wishes to marry. This action also represents the role she will play in creating an all-embracing, religious warmth within their new home. She settles on her groom's right-hand side with her attendants to her right, the groom's to his left.
Two pre-nuptial blessings are recited over wine, a symbol of sanctification and joy, and the couple drink.
The Rabbi then reads the Ketuba certificate of marriage to the couple and guests in English and Hebrew, says more prayers and blesses the couple.
Following this, he performs a short speech in which he talks about the bride and groom's family histories.
The Nisuin that follows completes the ceremony. It is conducted under the Chuppah and symbolises the act of the husband bringing his new wife into his home.
The bride and groom recite the seven marriage blessings (sheva brakhos). They talk of the themes of the greatness of God as creator of all, the happiness of bride and groom and the wellbeing of the eternally inspiring source of religious strength, the city of Jerusalem. These blessings are recited over a second cup of wine and at their conclusion, bride and groom again drink some of the wine.
To mark the end of the ceremony, the groom breaks a glass with his heel. This act expresses sadness at the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem.
After the ceremony there will be a reception and dancing, during which there will be what is called 'the hora'
No Jewish wedding is complete without the Hora, or chair dance, most likely derived from the tradition of carrying royalty on chairs. A few strong and brave guests hoist the bride and groom high above the crowd on chairs to the infectious sounds of "Hava Nagila". Friends and family dance around in an ecstatic circle as the elevated couple tries not to fall down.
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