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Interfaith Marriage
Interfaith marriage, is also referred to as a mixed marriage Mixed marriage between partners professing different religions. Some religious doctrines prohibit interfaith marriage, and while others do allow it, most restrict it.
What options do we have for a wedding ceremony?
You can have a civil or a religious ceremony, or you can have a civil marriage followed by a religious blessing. These are some of your options:
- A religious wedding ceremony according to the rites of one religion only.
- A ceremony according to the rites of one faith, followed by one of the other faith. Only one of these can be the legal wedding, the other will be a 'blessing'.
- A ceremony which follows the religion of one partner, but which includes prayers, readings, rituals and music from the tradition of the other partner.
- A wedding that is conducted by ministers from both religions. (In the Church of England, certain parts of the service must be taken by the Anglican priest as registrar).
- A civil marriage followed by a religious blessing service, which could be taken by a minister of either faith, an interfaith minister or a friend or relative.
Certain options may not be available to you as a mixed-faith couple. For example, a synagogue wedding can only happen if both partners are Jewish - this is the secular law rather than any rule drawn up by rabbis. Most Muslim authorities would not agree to perform a Nikah (Muslim marriage rite) for a Muslim woman marrying a non-Muslim, unless he converts.
Can we have a wedding ceremony that reflects both of our faiths?
There are certain words laid down by law which have to be included in a marriage ceremony, and other words may be added. But you are not allowed to include religious readings or music in a civil wedding, so any religious elements would need to be before or after the registrar performing the legal marriage.
If you have a ceremony in one faith tradition you may find that the minister is willing to allow elements like readings, rituals or music from the other tradition. A few faith leaders are willing to cooperate with colleagues of other faiths in a single ceremony. It's best to talk to the minister about this. Interfaith ministers may be able to put together an occasion that draws on your requirements. For some couples it works best to have two separate ceremonies, to do both traditions to the full.
What will our inter-faith marriage involve?
There's a huge variety of tradition and custom around weddings, and even within faiths there can be local and family variations.
When it's an interfaith wedding working out what is important to you both, and to your families will involve time and thought. Weddings involve planning and interfaith weddings all the more so.
There are plenty of ways of being creative and including traditions that matter to both of you, whether it's in how you both dress, or in the forms of hospitality offered to guests.
When it comes to the core of the wedding there is a theme common to all traditions which is the exchange of vows or a statement of your agreement to your union which may be symbolised and recognised in different ways. Whatever different traditions and doctrines are involved this point marks your union as a couple.
If you have a religious ceremony, make sure in advance that you, your families and the minister conducting the marriage ceremony understand and agree about what you are going to say and do.
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