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Humanist Weddings
What is Humanism ?
Humanism is the view that we can make sense of the world using reason, experience and shared human values and that we can live good lives without religious or superstitious beliefs. Humanists seek to make the best of the one life we have by creating meaning and purpose for ourselves. We choose to take responsibility for our actions and work with others for the common good.
Humanists do not believe in God, but simply in 'the good within human beings, in their equality, and in the individual's right to freedom of choice in the main decisions of life'. Consequently, a humanist wedding allows you to have a ceremony that focuses on these values and beliefs while still allowing you to express your individual personalities. It allows you the freedom to make your own personal choices about vows, music, readings, and venue. Humanist weddings can take place anywhere 'safe and dignified' and, unlike civil ceremonies conducted by a registrar, do not require the couple to get a special license. Your wedding ceremony can be held wherever you like, indoors or out, be it in a marquee, by a river or in your own home.
Humanist weddings are increasing in number each year. They are popular with people who have no religious affiliations, but who want to enter into a publicly committed marital relationship. Equally couple from intefaiths
Humanists aim to draw positive moral values from life that are based on human experience, rather than God-given. They don't believe in an afterlife, but think that: 'we should try to live full and happy lives ourselves... and make it easier for other people to do the same.'
What does a humanist wedding ceremony ?
The British Humanist Association describes its ceremonies as 'dignified, caring and totally personal'. It publishes a practical guide, Sharing the Future, to help you organise your own wedding, or you can work with a trained official.
A Humanist wedding can take place anywhere 'safe and dignified' - from your front room to a mountain top, and, unlike civil ceremonies conducted by a registrar, do not require couples to get a special licence.
Will a Humanist Ceremony be legal?
In England and Wales, Humanist weddings have no legal status, so if you want to be legally married, then you'll need to have a civil wedding at the register office as well, or to have a registrar present.
The Humanist Society of Scotland, however, has celebrants who are authorised to conduct legal marriages, making Scotland one of only three countries in the world (including Norway and the USA) where Humanist marriage ceremonies have full legal status.
The ceremony must be conducted by a Celebrant of the Humanist Society of Scotland who has been authorised by the Registrar General for Scotland. Since the first Humanist wedding in the UK in June 2005, demand has grown from just over 40 ceremonies in the same year to nearly 500 ceremonies conducted by the Humanist Society of Scotland in 2006, making it the fifth most popular wedding provider in Scotland. The Society now has thirty fully trained registered celebrants performing weddings throughout the country and many couples travel to Scotland specifically to be legally married in a Humanist ceremony. For more information on the Humanist Society of Scotland and the range of ceremonies it provides,
Is Humanism a religious ceremony ?
A Humanist wedding is completely secular (ie non-religious with no hymns, prayers or Bible readings). This can be a particular advantage for couples from different faiths. Rather than plump for one tradition at the risk of alienating the other, inter-faith couples can design a ceremony that emphasises what they have in common.
A celebrant trained and licensed by the British Humanist Association usually conducts humanist weddings, but you can ask a friend or relation to do it if you prefer. The ceremony includes vows devised by the couple, music, readings and any other symbolic actions the couple choose to make.
What do I need to do to plan a Humanist wedding?
- find someone to act as a celebrant such as a friend or relative, if not contact the Humanist society for a representative.
- Choose a venue which is personal and significant to you as a couple.
- Make arrangements for a separate civil ceremony before or after your humanist wedding.
- Decide on the type of service you'd like and what you would like to say. You can write the entire service yourself to reflect the important aspects of your relationship or, with help and advice from the BHA, you can adapt one of the ceremonies they can suggest to you. They also have suggestions for readings and music
How much will a Humanist Wedding cost ?
Cost for a Humanist wedding vary, but are typically up to £300.
What should do I wear at Humanist wedding ?
Because a humanist service is such a personal event, there's no reason why you can't wear whatever you want. However, if you are having a civil wedding before, it is customary for the bride to wear smart day clothes, rather than the full white number, although there are no set conventions. You may be influenced by whether or not you have been married before, but you don't have to be. Brides can go for a white dress and veil with the men in full morning dress, although lounge suits are more usual for men.
8. What will happen at the ceremony ?
As there are no legal formalities you have to abide by, the structure of the day is entirely up to you. This will, to some extent, have been rehearsed beforehand with the wedding party, so that the main participants know the procedure, their positions and when and where to move.
AThe ceremony has no set structure. At some point, the couple will make promises to each other and although they have no legal standing, their words will bind them together in love.
AA number of couples like to reflect on and celebrate their relationship before they make their promises. The majority of ceremonies will include readings and music, usually chosen for sentimental and personal reasons. The most important thing to remember is that the ceremony is about a public declaration of your love and commitment to each other.
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